Humor

In the beginning, there was the Plan,
And then came the Assumption,
And the Assumptions were without form,
And the Plan was without substance,
And the darkness was upon the face of the Firefighters,
And they spoke among themselves, saying,
"It is a crock of shit and it stinketh!"
And the Firefighters went unto their Lieutenants and said,
"It is a pail of dung, and none may abide by the odor thereof."
And the Lieutenants went unto their Captains, saying,
"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong;
Such that none may abide by it."
And the Captains went unto the Battalion Chiefs, saying,
"It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
And the Battalion Chiefs spoke among themselves, saying to one another,
"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
And the Battalion Chiefs then went unto the Assistant Chiefs, saying,
"It promotes growth and it is very powerful."
And the Assistant Chiefs went unto the Chief, saying to him,
"This new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the department with powerful effects.
And the Chief looked upon the Plan.
And he saw that it was good,
And the Plan became Policy,
And this is how Shit happens.

A fire started on some grassland near a farm.
The C.D.F. fire department was called
to put the fire out.

The volunteers arrived
in a dilapidated old fire truck.
They rumbled straight towards the fire
and stopped in the middle of the flames.
The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically
started spraying water in all directions.
Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire,
breaking the blaze into two
easily controllable parts.
Watching all this,

the farmer was so impressed with
the volunteer fire department's work and
was so grateful that his farm had been spared,
that right there on the spot he presented
the volunteers with a check for $1000.

A local news reporter asked
the volunteer fire captain what the
department planned to do with the funds.
"That oughta be obvious," he responded,
wiping ashes off his coat.
"The first thing we're gonna do is
get the brakes fixed on that darn old fire truck."

   Here's one for you........................it's pretty cool. >
     Apparently the owners of this house had been seeing images and hearing
   voices for quite a while. They did some research and found that a lady
    once lived in the house who lost her husband during the civil war.
Legend says that she used to sit at the table and look across the fields in
     anticipation of her loved one returning home. He never came. So, they say she still waits.
     They caught this photo (using digital imaging and sound) of what they
    claim to be her. This one is wild and a little spooky once you find the ghost in the picture.
It took me about 30 seconds to find it, but when you do, it
     just stands out. Like one of those optical illusions. To save you some
     time, concentrate around the table and sort of towards the window.
     You might not see it at first, so let your eyes adjust to the picture for up to a minute. Also, if you
    have volume, turn it up as you can hear some faint murmurings which they
     say is the ghost talking. Open the following link for the picture.
     http://home.attbi.com/~n9ivo/whatswrong.swf
    this is really cool........

A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little boy next door in a little red wagon with a tiny ladder hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The boy is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and a cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look.

"Thanks," says the little boy. As the fire fighter looks a little closer, he notices the boy has tied the wagon to the dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."